19th nervous breakdown.

in retrospect i will see the hilarity in this and reminisce of a time when i had youth and embraced it (as i always do). but the thing is, i am not embracing it. well, i don't feel like i am. perhaps it is because i have a terrible memory. but i know that i will probably look back at this and laugh, yet i am seriously worried/horrified/in mourning about turning the big fat huge old ugly serious 2-0. i sincerely thought it was bad enough turning nineteen, but twenty, that is incomprehendible. yuck, it makes me want to vom. YES, this is dramatic but i swear it is/will be the only thing that is causing me emotional unrest - age. whoah, quarter-life crisis much? definitely my "19th nervous breakdown" to quote ol' Mick and Keith. ha.

from the time of drafting this i have exactly four months of exuding the auora and perfume of teen spirit. what does this even smell like?

all of the songs about fun and youth and rebellion are all depicted in the teenage years. moreover all of the BEST songs are just these ... ponder these.
- seventeen forever
- dancing queen
- sweet sixteen
- she's only 18 (i played this up until the second i turned nineteen)
- time of my life (baby is 17)
- smells like teen spirit
- 1985
- teenage wasteland
- school's out (although i have already adjusted to the absence of school-themed songs/movies/TV)
- teenage dirtbag
- fifteen
- summer of '69
- breakout
- forever young
- teenage dream (wahoo)
- 100 years
- special needs
- hot in herre
- high school never ends
- teenagers (can no longer play this to vent)
- what's my age again?
- all summer long
... to name a few.

what does this even entail - apart from a killer birthday shindig?
"do i carry my high-school diploma around with me? what do you do with your hair in the morning? what happens if their is incliment weather, where do you, what do you wear? can you wash you clothes in the dishwasher?"

maybe i should write a list of my teenage achievments so far and what i still want to do slash can get away with do within the next couple of months. oh, the possibilities ... hmm.
sorry for the whinge, i swear it is/will be my only one. the glass is half FULL. age is just a number, right? que sera sera.

there is someone however that embodies teenage feelings above 20, showing that age really is just a number. how perfect, considering my upcoming weekend plans ...
katy perry would be tickled.

PS - if anyone has any reassuring statements to either side of this dilemma please feel free to comment and help a girl (still) out.